It has been quite a long time since I have written. From my blog title one could assume that my silence is due to not hearing God in unexpected ways. That is a bit true because instead of in unexpected ways, I've noticed God's presence in my Bible, in church, in my prayer life. and especially in my relationships. Those are definitely places one would expect God to be.
Lately, I've struggled with the feeling that I don't relate well to others.....I find myself at odds with people. I'm not necessarily in conflict with them, but I think it is safe to say that I'm feeling a bit contrary or argumentative (at least in my thought life). I know part of it is because I'm living life on the 'fringe'. I shared that with a homeschooling friend about a week ago and she just laughed and laughed because she understands how that feels. Homeschooling can be marginalizing to a stay at home mom. Being an evangelical Christian, stay at home, homeschooling parent can really put one out 'on the fringe'. I would only expect a homeschooling parent to fully comprehend what I'm describing. So perhaps I'm just embracing my life and beginning to appreciate what it really means to be an evangelical Christian, stay at home, homeschooling mother, and it is causing friction with those I encounter via the internet, in my church, and my friendships.
For the past 6 months or so, I have felt this contrariness-is that a word?, is that how it's spelled? (I can even feel contrary with myself if I think about it long enough). Ugh. What is my point? Peace. My point is Peace. In church today, the sermon was on Colossians 3:15-17. It begins: "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace." Pastor Todd's focus was not on inward, personal peace, but corporate, community peace. Live peacefully with one another. Disagreements are part of the human condition, but peace is of the Holy Spirit and as Paul asserts, ought to be lived out in the church body. Peace is the solution to my own personal contrariness (I looked it up; it is a word). Letting the word peace linger in my thoughts brings me relief; it relaxes me so that I can let go of the willful, obstinate positions I take on life's issues (political, relational, spiritual, you name it) and be at peace, even though I may disagree.
Of course, God showed up in our Bible class before the sermon and prepped me with this: James 4. The chapter begins like this: "What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you?" What perfect preparation for learning to live at peace with one another. James continues to confront the church for selfish motives and living as "friends of the world, and enemies of God". Will my need to argue and be right wreck my fellowship with God? Yikes! James quotes scripture to finish his point: "That is why Scripture says: God opposes the proud but give grace to the humble." James 4:6 Pride is the inward battle and peace cannot occupy the same space within my spirit. God is good to gently show me the solution....
So I close with this.....Shalom. Really, I mean that. Peace.
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